You know it's going to be a bad day when you want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party and there aren't any.
Let's say your wedding ring falls into your toaster, and when you stick
your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as
Mental Anguish. You would sue:
* The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions
section that says you should never never never ever stick you hand into
the toaster, the statement "Not even if your wedding ring falls in there".
* The store where you bought the toaster, for selling it to an obvious
cretin like yourself.
* Union Carbide Corporation, which is not directly responsible in this
case, but which is feeling so guilty that it would probably send you a
large cash settlement anyway.
-- Dave Barry
The CIA had an opening for an assassin.
After all of the background checks,
interviews, and testing were done there
were three finalists, two men and a woman.
For the final test, the CIA agents took
one of the men to a large metal door and
handed him a gun.
"We must know that you will follow our
instructions, no matter what the circumstances.
Inside of this room, you will find your wife
sitting in a chair, Kill Her!!!"
The man said, "You can't be serious.
I could never shoot my wife."
The agent said, "Then you're not the right
man for this job."
The second man was given the same instructions.
He took the gun and went into the room. All
was quiet for about five minutes. Then the
man came out with tears in his eyes. "I tried,
but I can't kill my wife."
The agent said, "You don't have what it takes,
Take your wife and go home."
Finally, it was the woman's turn.
She was given the same instructions,
to kill her husband.
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