• Jokes 5/8

    From GM3YEW@CAPCITY to HUMOUR on Mon Aug 5 02:50:00 2019
    R:190805/0538Z 22204@OK2PEN.SP.BRA.SOAM [Sao Jose dos Campos] $:6734_GB7YEW R:190805/0537Z @:GB7CIP.#32.GBR.EURO #:14817 [Caterham Surrey GBR] R:190805/0535Z 6734@GB7YEW.#79.GBR.EURO LinBPQ6.0.18

    As Grandmother used to say

    Moss dry, sunny sky

    ------

    Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very
    Elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?"

    "98," she replied. "Two years older than me."

    "So you're 96," the undertaker commented.

    She responded, "Hardly worth going home is it?"

    -------------------------

    Love is a word that is constantly heard, Hate is a word that is not.
    Love, I am told, is more precious than gold. Love, I have read, is hot.
    But hate is the verb that to me is superb, And Love but a drug on the mart.
    Any kiddie in school can love like a fool, But Hating, my boy, is an Art.
    -- Ogden Nash
    ---

    Homer, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. He
    Sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV.
    The 10:00 news was on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on
    A ledge of a large building preparing to jump.
    The blonde looked at Homer and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"
    Homer says, "You know, I bet he'll jump."
    The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't." Homer placed $20 on the bar and sai Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of The blonde was very upset and handed her $20 to Homer, saying, "Fair's fair. H Homer replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock n The blonde replies, "I did, too; but I didn't think he'd do it again."

    Homer took the money.

    ======

    Reporter interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you
    Think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked.

    She simply replied, "No peer pressure."

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